i never really thought eating cheese a bit before going to sleep actually caused nightmares, i believe it now!

i had one fucker of a nightmare, not your typical monsters or world ending shit but stuff that is actually capable of happening.

i was in a flat which i assume belonged to ali and i because we were the only 2 there and i could see some of our stuff kicking about. we were having some argument about something but i couldn’t hear anything, only see us shouting at each other. then he stormed off into “our” bathroom and into the shower. then i heard his phone go and decided for some reason to look at it and i found all these dirty texts from some girl called “Melissa L” fuck knows where i got the name haha.

i then run into the bathroom and another massive argument starts off again but this time i can hear everything being said and it’s fucking horrible.

that dream had brought out some of my massive fears and insecurities, losing ali, being cheated on and so top it all off being told i’m not good enough/ugly/worthless.

blehhhhh, that was a cunt of a dream haha, thank god it was only a dream though.  

gonna try forget about it and enjoy today, it’s lovely and sunny outside so i’m gonna go out and enjoy it for a bit, eurovision night with ali later on :) can’t wait to see him!

my IC has flared up so fucking badly over the past few days :’(

it’s times like these that all i want to do is sleep it away but i can’t because it hurts too much to sleep :’(

doctors on monday and i’m definitely going to ask for something stronger than what i’m on at the moment. i wish i knew someone else with IC so that i could talk about it and get advice on how to deal with it better.

my stomach is also bloated from it again for the first time in months, i look about 4 months pregnant and i feel like shit :( ughh

only up side to today is that it’s sunny and we’re having a bbq later on :)

leave me nice things and possible suggestions from all you other IC sufferers out there?